Traumatizing The Boy

I completely horrified Jack today; I made him pee in a bush!

We had walked to a playground, about a mile from home, when Jack suddenly announced that he "had to go pee." There was no facility within a half mile and, judging by the urgency in his voice and the fact that we were on foot, I knew that he would never make it. So I surveyed the area and dragged Jack over to the nearest bush.

When I told Jack he would have to pee outside he initially refused to do it, claiming that peeing in a bush is "yucky." I quickly pointed out that it was either the bush or his pants, either way he had to make a decision and live with it.

He chose the bush.

After the fact, while I was pushing him on a swing, I had to listen to him complain about how yucky peeing in a bush is...

"I can't pee in a bush, that is so yucky. Bushes are not for peeing, they are for squirrels. I'm not a squirrel, I don't use a bush!! You made me pee outside!! I peed outside!! That is sooooo yucky!! You can't pee outside, how are you supposed to flush? Where does the pee go? There is no way to flush! Squirrels need to pee outside. Squirrels don't flush?"

On and on he went.

For the next 20 minutes.

Until finally, acceptance settled in.

And peeing outside was suddenly cool.

And then he told me that when he got home he was going to pee on the tree in front of our house... The one with the sticky sap.